When I opened this blog I thought it would be a cute little thing to work on while I get myself together and sort out my problems. I’m not funny or interesting enough to open a YouTube channel and hiding behind endless paragraphs has always been something I am really good at.
However, the last two months have not only been incredibly busy but also completely exhausted my entire being. I hardly sleep, struggle to get up in the morning and get anything done in general. Side effects of my brain working things out and trying to refocus, my therapist said. It’s normal to have these long down-phases. All you have to do is switch things up to match your current needs.
Now, if you’re a normal person, it might just be that easy. Switch your routine a little, lessen the stress and voila! as good as new.
If you’re similar to myself, however, it’s anything but that easy. Because, first, there is the guilt. The constant stream of thoughts, “I gave up”, “I can’t get anything done”, “I’m so lazy, I should be ashamed”.
There’s the pressure and stress you put yourself under, desperate to get at least one thing done. There’s feeling ashamed for sitting around doing nothing, for feeling overwhelmed by seemingly nothing.
There are 1001 thoughts running through my brain by the second and I’m nothing but tired.
From doing nothing.
Isn’t that just great.
What all this has to do with this blog?
I decided to switch this up as well. Doing a monthly recap was a cute idea but, in hindsight, nothing I could see myself continuing for a long time. When you start stressing yourself out about things which should be fun for you, that’s when it’s time for a change of scenery or something.
I won’t stop posting completely, I’m still having fun writing and sharing my journey and the experiences which come along with it. It’s just that I would like to keep myself from falling down into familiar patterns again.
That being said, there’s a post coming up soon, so please look forward to that.
I hope you had a great start into June and that you were able to enjoy the sun at least for a little while!
20190603 - lunaluna
Diary of A Journey 